is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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