normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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