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• (847): View more from Illinois

  We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"

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• (716): View more from New York

  I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does

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• (415): View more from California

  So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.

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