the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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