yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
