To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit