Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
