dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
