remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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