so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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