school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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