Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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