Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
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He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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