why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
