she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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