everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Oh god it's open bar.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
