All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
