dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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