Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
