yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
