we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
