I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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