um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
