if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just want nice things and good sex
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
