Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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