Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
