just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
