My room smells like vodka and shame
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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