butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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