it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
