The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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