What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just high enough for therapy.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
