i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
