She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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