Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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