are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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