Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
