So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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