My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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