She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
