worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
