So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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