dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. đŚ
His name isnt in my phone as âSatanâs spawnâ for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
