Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize