And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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