Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
