Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
