Just took my morning after pill in the library
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
