You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
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