i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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