between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
