3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
