No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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