Do you still have your period?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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