she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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