bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
barbara walters just said penis...
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
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I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
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I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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