stop calling my apartment porn island.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
