pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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