remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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