Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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