and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
