She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
