Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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