is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
