Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
