help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
