What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's never too late to be topless.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My dick has a subreddit
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
