I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
