Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
