I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
