Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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